"Do you think you made the right choice?"

"'Course"

You say you want to know more about me,
and that I know you all too well for your own good,
I guess that's where love's brought me.
A one way road.
One where I understand everything about you
but you know nothing about me.
Maybe that's a good thing-
I mean, that makes me mysterious and unpredictable..
Right?
Not exactly.
Your every touch can still manipulate me in ways you'll never know.
Your words are like puppeteer strings attached to my every limb.
I know you've noticed that much.
Maybe that's what's keeping you around.
The ability to get to me like you can isn’t open for everyone.
It’s actually only open to you.
You're the only one.
And you've always been the only one for about a year now-
and seeing the way this is going,
I'm almost positive you'll always be the only one.
See, I'm not exactly one for commitments..
Let it be the commitment to an essay, a hobbie,
or a relationship.
But, hey.. You've been around
every day of my life for a year now,
and I still cant seem to let you go.
I still get butterflies when you speak,
my stomach knots up when you touch me,
and I cant seem to think when you look into my eyes.
Kind of pathetic, I know.
But it’s true.
Through all this; I should be happy I've finally found someone I genuinely love,
and who loves me back.
But of course.. It isn’t that easy.
I should have learned the first time around that nothing would change.
Don’t get me wrong, you’ve really transformed..
But the mistakes you made before still linger in their minds.
Yeah, see, I’ve got a few best friends..
They don’t exactly enjoy this.
I know very well that they all mean well..
What I don’t know is if they’re looking out for me,
or if all this is just for themselves.
I mean.. They don’t like you.
That’s fair..
But are they trying to keep us apart because they don’t want me to get hurt again..
Or is it just because they don’t like you, period?
But to be completely fair and honest,
I don’t know how I would have survived the pain you caused me
if it weren’t for them.
They held me together while you played your games,
and watched me cry the tears you forced upon me.
So it’s completely understandable why they could actually hate you,
and why they cringe at the thought of me and you together.
You haven’t exactly given them reason not to feel that way..
I can’t keep standing up for you.
Believe me, it isn’t very easy.
I don’t have any proof of your dramatic change..
All I have are your I love yous,
your promises to stay with me forever,
your quiet pleads to be with me,
and our patient conversations about our relationship in the long-run.
I know you think I’m not trying hard enough like you are..
But I really am.
I want to be with you more than anything,
but I cant choose you over them.
Hurts to hear it, right?
Believe me, I know.
I haven’t exactly been on your front burner this whole time either,
have I?
Only recently have you pushed them aside for me..
And I’m sorry I have to do this to you.
I don’t want to be this way.
Just know that I’m not doing it for revenge..
I’m doing it to keep my sanity.
And if that means holding back on you to keep my friends happy..
Then I don’t deserve you like I think I do.
I didn’t think it’d hurt as much as it just did to say that.
Let me rethink that.
I’m almost positive I don’t pay much care to what they think about you..
I mean, if I did I wouldn’t still be here after a year.
I love you.
Those three words don’t quite have the same effect anymore.
You mean so much more to me than they come across to say.
.. I never thought I’d say that.
But there it is.
So no, I won’t hold out.
I’ll return every piece of love you’ve shown me.

As long as you don’t give up on me,
I wont give up on you.

Promise.