Hey cutie, A/S/L?

Melanie Dawn Amorim.
I like all three parts of my name.
I’m obnoxious, narcissistic, and spoiled.
I don’t like how tall I am.
I’m a model without the body.
I’m young and in love.
I don’t argue unless I’m right.
I’m very irritable and short-tempered.
I can be sweet and caring when I feel necessary.
But I can be painful when the time comes, too.
I’m extremely sentimental.
I deeply dislike who my sister is.
If you deserve something, I’ll give it to you.
I don’t trust, and can’t be trusted.
I stretch the truth to make things interesting.
I take what I want, when I want.
Your secrets aren’t safe with me.
I over-react, and cry over everything.
I’m disrespectful to my parents.
I manage to be childish and mature simultaneously.
I can’t commit to anything.
I’m afraid to be alone.
I’m jealous more often than any other emotion.
I have two best friends, but I love one more than the other.
I don’t like change.
I bite my fingers until they’re raw and bloody.
I hate being put in awkward situations.
I procrastinate until I just don’t have to do it.
Your dirty looks intrigue me.
I judge a book by its cover.
I lie to make people happy.
I used to talk behind everyone’s back - now I confront them.
I use people, and then leave them.
I don’t try as hard as I should.
I think I’m wonderful,
And I enjoy the limelight you provide me.

Here’s the answer to your repetitive question.
The one I always choose to avoid.
The one I always respond to with “I can’t explain it.”
Truth is, I just can’t explain it to you.
I know exactly what I love about you;

I love the way you smile. The way your eyes squint when you do. How I can’t help but smile back.
I love the way you hold my hand. Your fingers running along mine. The way you lock your hold, like you never want to let go.
I love how you’d do anything to make me happy. How you’ll skip class to get a line-up, just because I like the way you look that way.
I love that you’re just as nervous as I am. The way you tremble when you touch me. The way you look at me, as if to ask if you’re doing it right.
I love how jealous you get. How I’m yours, and only yours. They way you let the other boys know not to come around.
I love the obsession you have with my face. The way you run your fingertips along my skin. The way you hold your cheek to mine.
I love the way you brush your nose against mine. That you keep your eyes on mine the whole time. How happy you look when you’re that close to me.
I love that you understand when to give me space. The way you can wait for me until I’m ready. The way you’ll always be listening.
I love the way you smell. How you let me keep your clothes for as long as I want them, just so you’re with me in some way.
I love that you text me just to ask if I’m okay. The way you’re always thinking of me.
I love how you offer to do anything for me. The way you ask to pay for my movie. The fact you wanted to apply to Humber so I wouldn’t be alone.
I love that you dream of me and tell me the next day. The way you ask me to dream of you too. The fact that I actually do, almost every night.
I love that you make it seem like I’m your favourite. The way you compliment me. The way you get me to blush every single time you do.
I love the way you kiss me. That you’re scared, but passionate. How you’re sad when it’s over, but you can’t stop smiling.
I love that I’m the only one that sees this side of you.

Take time to realize,

That your warmth is;

Crashing down on me.

Take time to realize,

That I am on your side

.. Didn't I, Didn't I tell you?

-

But I can't spell it out for you,

No it's never gonna be that simple

No I cant spell it out for you..

-

If you'd just realize what I just realized,

Then we'd be perfect for each other

and we'd never find another..

Just realize what I just realized

we'd never have to wonder

if we missed out on each other now.

-

Take time to realize

Oh-oh I'm on your side

.. Didn't I, didn't I tell you?

Take time to realize

This all can pass you by

.. Didn't I tell you?

-

But I can't spell it out for you,

no it's never gonna be that simple

no I can't spell it out for you.

-

If you'd just realize what I just realized

then we'd be perfect for each other

then we'd never find another

Just realize what I just realized

we'd never have to wonder

if we missed out on each other now.

-

It's not always the same

.. no it's never the same

if you don't feel it too..

If you meet me half way

If you would meet me half way.

It could be the same for you.

-

If you'd just realize what I just realized

then we'd be perfect for each other

then we'd never find another

Just realize what I just realized

we'd never have to wonder..

-

Just realize what I just realized.

You're so fucking cute.

I get it now.

...

jkgbnwkg.

ily.

Imagine if I told you that I need you

I always new this time would come.. The end of high school, the approach of post-secondary degrees, and the final test of relationships. What I didn’t know was how fast the time would fly by me. Even the lowest points of our friendship seem that they went by all too fast, when at the time they were happening it felt like they would never end. The worst part is that our highest points, the ones I’ll never forget, feel like they just happened yesterday. All within the blink of an eye, they came, happened, and went. It’s heartbreaking to know I may never see you – my best friend – again. I mean, it’s happened before. I can’t remember the last time I saw my elementary school best friend of eight years. Eight years with that one special friend seemed like a miracle – a blessing – like nothing could ever test the strength of our friendship.. And now I’m sitting here, wondering what she’s been doing, where she’s going, and whether or not she still wants to open the veterinarian office with me. I’m terrified that will happen again. That I’ll have to endure the next year alone, keeping my deepest secrets to myself, as I attempt to build a new support system all over again. Maybe it won’t happen. Maybe I won’t have to do that. ‘Cause to be completely honest, the 2 short years of knowing you feel a lot stronger than the 8 years of knowing her. You know everything about me. You know my strengths, my weaknesses, and my fears. There isn’t anyone I consider more important in my life right now other than you. Seriously. After every laugh that made us have to catch our breath, every tear that streamed down our cheeks, every painful bear hug, and every awkward hand holding.. There’s nothing I would re-do with you. I know I’m not perfect, and that I annoy you, piss you off, say stupid stuff and then take it back.. But put all that aside and you’ll never find a girl that cares and loves you more than I do.
You’ll always be my Tutti, if I’m always your Frutti.
Takka Takka, Darbee Darbee, out.

Evasion

She wanted something just like the real thing,
He needed love - and it all worked out somehow.
But she wasn’t always like this;
She never needed a boy.
And he wasn’t always like that.
He always had his toys.
But they were everything to each other,
Everything they ever needed.
She called on him, and he -
He called on her.
She suffered him,
And he suffered her.
She wasn’t thinking about anyone else just then,
But she knew someone would always crawl back in.
‘Cause he didn’t show her what she needed
And he was scared when they spoke about love,
So every night, she still pleaded..
That he would suffer her,
Because she would suffer him.
That he could call on her,
And she could call on him.
In that moment, they were both afraid;
They started thinking that pretty soon..
One of them would leave.
But he turned around, and as he did –
He said, I’m here for you..

And she ran and hid.

You say, "true love; it's suicide."

I'll be there for you;
These five words I swear to you.
When you breathe I want to be the air for you;
I'll be there for you.

I'd live and I'd die for you,
Steal the sun from the sky for you.
Words can't say what a love can do;
I'll be there for you.

if it's the thought that counts
you can count on me
i think about you all the time

Whether he loves me, or hurts me

He'll always have me.

.

Trying hard not to hear,

But they talk so loud.

Their piercing sounds fill my ears,

Try to fill me with doubt.

Yet I know that their goal

Is to keep me from falling.

.

But nothing's greater

Than the rush that comes with your embrace.

And in this world of loneliness I see your face.

Yet everyone around me

Thinks that I'm going crazy,

.. Maybe, maybe..

.

But I don't care what they say;

I'm in love with you.

They try to pull me away,

But they don't know the truth.

My heart's crippled by the vein

That I keep on closing;

I keep bleeding love.

It’s been a long time,

I shouldn’t have left you.

What would you do, to get to me?
What would you say, to have your way?
Would you give up, or try again?
If I hesitate, to let you win.
Would you be yourself, or play your role?
Tell all the boys, or keep it low?
If I say no, would you turn away?
Play me off, or would you stay?

I'm into you, you're into me.
But I cant let it go, so easily.
Not 'til I see, what this could be,
Be eternity? Or just a week?
You know, our chemistry is off the chain.
Its perfect now, but will it change?

This isn't a yes, this isn't a no.
Just do your thing, we'll see how it goes.

"Do you think you made the right choice?"

"'Course"

You say you want to know more about me,
and that I know you all too well for your own good,
I guess that's where love's brought me.
A one way road.
One where I understand everything about you
but you know nothing about me.
Maybe that's a good thing-
I mean, that makes me mysterious and unpredictable..
Right?
Not exactly.
Your every touch can still manipulate me in ways you'll never know.
Your words are like puppeteer strings attached to my every limb.
I know you've noticed that much.
Maybe that's what's keeping you around.
The ability to get to me like you can isn’t open for everyone.
It’s actually only open to you.
You're the only one.
And you've always been the only one for about a year now-
and seeing the way this is going,
I'm almost positive you'll always be the only one.
See, I'm not exactly one for commitments..
Let it be the commitment to an essay, a hobbie,
or a relationship.
But, hey.. You've been around
every day of my life for a year now,
and I still cant seem to let you go.
I still get butterflies when you speak,
my stomach knots up when you touch me,
and I cant seem to think when you look into my eyes.
Kind of pathetic, I know.
But it’s true.
Through all this; I should be happy I've finally found someone I genuinely love,
and who loves me back.
But of course.. It isn’t that easy.
I should have learned the first time around that nothing would change.
Don’t get me wrong, you’ve really transformed..
But the mistakes you made before still linger in their minds.
Yeah, see, I’ve got a few best friends..
They don’t exactly enjoy this.
I know very well that they all mean well..
What I don’t know is if they’re looking out for me,
or if all this is just for themselves.
I mean.. They don’t like you.
That’s fair..
But are they trying to keep us apart because they don’t want me to get hurt again..
Or is it just because they don’t like you, period?
But to be completely fair and honest,
I don’t know how I would have survived the pain you caused me
if it weren’t for them.
They held me together while you played your games,
and watched me cry the tears you forced upon me.
So it’s completely understandable why they could actually hate you,
and why they cringe at the thought of me and you together.
You haven’t exactly given them reason not to feel that way..
I can’t keep standing up for you.
Believe me, it isn’t very easy.
I don’t have any proof of your dramatic change..
All I have are your I love yous,
your promises to stay with me forever,
your quiet pleads to be with me,
and our patient conversations about our relationship in the long-run.
I know you think I’m not trying hard enough like you are..
But I really am.
I want to be with you more than anything,
but I cant choose you over them.
Hurts to hear it, right?
Believe me, I know.
I haven’t exactly been on your front burner this whole time either,
have I?
Only recently have you pushed them aside for me..
And I’m sorry I have to do this to you.
I don’t want to be this way.
Just know that I’m not doing it for revenge..
I’m doing it to keep my sanity.
And if that means holding back on you to keep my friends happy..
Then I don’t deserve you like I think I do.
I didn’t think it’d hurt as much as it just did to say that.
Let me rethink that.
I’m almost positive I don’t pay much care to what they think about you..
I mean, if I did I wouldn’t still be here after a year.
I love you.
Those three words don’t quite have the same effect anymore.
You mean so much more to me than they come across to say.
.. I never thought I’d say that.
But there it is.
So no, I won’t hold out.
I’ll return every piece of love you’ve shown me.

As long as you don’t give up on me,
I wont give up on you.

Promise.

I just need to know if it's possible

for two people to be happy together

forever.

What is love?

Baby, don't hurt me;

don't hurt me no more.

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'

- 8yrs old

'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'

- 4yrs old

'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'

- 7yrs old

'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'

- 6yrs old

'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'

- 4 yrs old

'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.'

- 7 yrs old

What an image. And that's exactly what it is - believe me, I've still got little stars coming out of me to this very day. I cant explain why, and that's what scares me the most. It's amazing how real these explanations are. Under their childish facade, each one has a deeper meaning. Something completely profound. To be honest, I myself dont know how to explain what love is - but each of these little kids knew exactly what it was to them. I feel wrong not knowing how to explain it. I think the problem is that my head is so fogged. Cluttered, even. I think we all need a break from reality, one that'll return us to our childish state of mind. Seems like that's when we know ourselves the best.

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody.

So here's the thing, we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, but it's usually a load of bull. We pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick by them.

No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with us at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping.

And sure, sometimes close can be too close.

But sometimes - that invasion of your personal space - it can be exactly what you need.